AKPORS AGAIN

AKPORS Vs TEACHER
Akpors had been promoted
toprimary
5 and the teacher Miss Janet was
going round asking the pupils
addition questions.
She got to the first boy and
asked "40
+ 6" the boy replied "forty six"
"good" teacher replied and
moved on "yes
you, " 50+4" and the pupil
replied
"madam fifty
four ".... again good the teacher
remarked The teacher went
round and
round and round till she got to
the last seat occupied the boy
himself Akpors the teacher asked
"yes
you, Akpors, 60 + 10 ?"
Akpors stood up and stammered
"
Ma-ma-ma Madam, its SIXTY TEN

1

AKPORS FUNNY PICTURE PART 2

discribe this person in one word

1

FUNNNY PHOTO LAUGH OUT OH

SEE THIS MAKES ME TO LAUGH TO INFINITI WITHOUT  STOPPING SO JOIN ME AND LAUGH AND ALSO DROP A COMMENT

0

FUNNY STORY TO TELL

GUYS MUST READ THIS OVER AND
OVER AGAIN!!!
This is for all the guys who pick
up random girls on the streets
without knowing anythingabout
them. Here's how to know if you
are sharing your bed with a
mammy water:
You picked her up from the
street or some other random
place. Maybe she was even
standing in front of an
uncompleted building
You don't know her surname.
She told you her name is " Just
Julie"
She agreed to sleep with you on
the very first day, in fact she
moved into your house, no
questions asked.
She never gets tired. She can
pound yam, fry garri, grind
pepper with a stone and still
haves*x with you when she
finishes.
She always looks perfect, even
first thing in the morning. No
pimples, her make-up looks
permanent and everything is
always in the right place.
Her Brazilian hair looks natural. It
really looks like her hair but
maybe salons have found a way
to remove natural hair and put it
back later.
She never talks about her family
and she doesn't have any friends.
You only hear her saying "My sea
sisters" sometimes at night but
you're not bothered because
girls call themselves all sorts of
things.
Ever since you started sleeping
with her, your life has turned
upside down but of course your
stepmother in the village is to
blame.
She has stopped you from eating
fish. Ever since she came into
your life, it's only chicken or
meat, nothing that comes from
the sea.
She doesn't ask you for anything.
In fact, she'severy Nigerian
boyfriend's dream. You don't pay
for human hair or BIS and she
doesn't even want Blackberry
Z10. She doesn't care about
Valentine's Day and you don't
even know her birthday sef. She
never gets jealous or goes
through your phone and she
couldn'tcare less about your
Facebook password. In fact she's
the best!
If the girl you're with falls into all
these categories, you better
wake up my guy, NA FISH SHE
BE!!!
Abi you be shark?

0

FUNNY JOKES OF MR AKPORS

Akpos is now graduate having
studied Yoruba Language in
school and is now a corper
posted to a school.
He was among the invigilators in
this WAEC exams holding in the
school he was serving.
Right inside the school when the
exam going on, one sexy girl
who was wearing a very short
skirt and looking gorgeous was
cutting eye for him,
giving him a seductive look, so
He went straight to the girl to
find what her problem was, and
he gave the girl the solution to
the mathematics questions
without thinking.
So, after the exam, he followed
the girl up to arrange of how he
would meet her later and the girl
said to him:
"Do you think I'm a prostitute?
All those actions I was displaying
for you in the hall were fake,
that's my boyfriend waiting for
me. Mugu and she laughed!
Akpos laughed too and gently
said!!! Awon elei !!!!You think I
am a fool too!!! Do you think I
read Mathematics?I studied
Yoruba in school;
all those answers I gave to you
were fake...
The girl Shouted!!!! I don Die!!!
One Word 4 Akpors

1

FUNNY PICTURE ON POINT

THIS IS A PICTURE I SAW AND I COULD NOT STOP LAUGHING JOIN ME AND START LAUGHING

1

INSPIRATIONAL STORY

A doctor entered the
hospital in hurry after being
called in for an urgent surgery.
He answered the call asap,
changed his clothes & went
directly to the surgery block.
He found the boy's father pacing
in the hall waiting for the doctor.
On seeing him, the dad yelled:
"Why did you take all this time to
come? Don't
you know that my son's life is in
danger? Don't you have any
sense of responsibility?
"
The doctor smiled & said: "I am
sorry, I wasn'tin the hospital & I
came as fast as
I could after receiving the call.
And now, I wish you'd calm
down so that I can do
my work."
"Calm down?! What if your son
was in this room right now,
would you calm down? If your
own son dies now what will you
do??" said the father angrily
The doctor smiled again &
replied:" I will say what Job said
in the Holy Book
'From dust we came & to dust
we return, blessed be the name
of God.'
Doctors cannot prolong lives. Go
&intercede for your son, we will
do our
best by God's grace"
"Giving advises when we're not
concerned is so easy "
murmured the father.
The surgery took some hours
after which the doctor went out
happy,
"Thank goodness!, your son
is saved!" And without waiting
for the father's reply he carried
on his way
running." If you have any
question, ask the nurse!!"
"Why is he so arrogant? He
couldn't wait some minutes so
that I ask about my son's state"
commented the
father when seeing the nurse
minutes after the doctor left.
The nurse answered, tears
coming down her face:"His
son died yesterday in a road
accident, he was in the burial
when we called him
for your son's surgery. And now
that he saved your son's life, he
left running to
finish his son's burial."
Moral-Never judge
anyone.....beca
use you
never know how their life is
&what they're going through"
If you have ever judged anyone
wrongly before
comment "Forgive me
God"..Ignore if you don't care..
FORGIVE ME GOD!!

0

LAUGHING MATTERS

A fat man saw an advertisement,
"Lose 5kg in a Week." He called
and said,
"I would like to join!" Lady: Ok!
Be ready tomorrow at 6 am. Next
morning,he gets to the office &
he was taken to a room. He
opensthe door and finds a hot
babe in only a shirt and
underpants. She said, "If u catch
me u canf*ck me!" & the girl
starts running. The man starts
running but couldn't catch her.
So during the whole week,he
tried to catch her but couldn't &
lost 5kg.
He then asks for the 10kg
program. Next morning at
6am,he opens the door and finds
a more hotter babe in a bikini
who said, "If you catch me,you
f*ck me." He lost 10kg that week.
So,he thought this program is
awesome! He requested a 25kg
program. Thelady said, "Are U
sure?It's really tough!! He replied,
''am more than ready'' The next
day at 6am,he opens the door
expecting to see a naked babe
but finds a Naked MAD MAN who
said, "If I Catch U,I F*ck U!!!!"
That week,the man lost 40 kg.

0

STORY

>>TRUE LIFE STORY<<
There was a girl who was
travelling to
Osun state.
When she got to ibadan, she told
the driver to stop that she wants
to
buy some
drinks, the driver agreed.and she
went.
when she came
back she saw that another
person
had
taken
her seat, she was angry and told
the
man to
come
down but the driver insist that
she must not
enter the car again, her load was
carried out
and she waited for another bus.
Not up to 5min she heard that
there
was an
accident.when she got there, she
found out
dat it was dat same bus she was
sent
out
from but
wat she saw when the bus door
was opened made her burst into
tears.they
found out it was only dat man
dat
sat
on her
seat who died and the woman
said in
a
loud voice (THIS
WAS SUPPOSE TO BE ME, BUT I
RECIEVED MERCY)
NOW I DECLARE, AT the POINT OF
DEATH YOU
WILL FIND MERCY [AMEN]
WRITE "AMEN" and "SHARE" TO
CLAIM THIS PRAYER

0

SOME FUNNY FACTs

SOME FUNNY FACTs:
1. When you scream God's name
during sex, I wonder if
you're trying to remind Him to
punish u later."
2. The day a Ghost got involved
in an accident was the
day oyinbo stopped watching
Nolly wood.
3. What's the relationship
between Rain & PHCN in
Nigeria? It seems almost like an
automatic switch
thing..
4.Someone walks up to u
licking Ice-Cream and tells
u to help him with T-fare cos he's
Stranded..pls shoot
Him!"
5. U did the Exam so well that
u Took the Answer Scripts Home
to show ur Room-mates... Ur 'A'
go too sure.
6. That awkward moment when
you type"Trophyless "
on Google and the result
shows"Arsenal"
7.Just put currency sign in front
of your BB pin and igbo girls
would
add you sharply.$2737A4
A7"
titration tinz
8. If your Girlfriend refuses to
accept the Bible & anointing oil
or
Quran as buffdae gift, free her,
na
WITCH"
9.They say love is more
important than money. Pls try
paying a Lagos conductor with a
hug and kiss.
10. In a Nigerian Home...If your
friend forgets to greet
your parents, that's the end of
that friendship.if you
doubt" try am
11. Women are like police, they
might have all the evidence in the
world but they still want a
confession.
12. People That Smoke Weed
Before Going To Church.
You Wanna Compete With The
Most High?"
13. In a Naija Home, ur parents
will call u frm ur room to pick up
something that is sitting literally
2inches away from them.
14. If God's Plan For You is
BROWN TEETH, Even IRON
SPONGE Cannot Change It!"
15. If 80k Brazilian hair couldn't
get you a good husband, why
not
use it to pay a counselor to talk
good sense into your life"
16. Ushers sef.. Dey won't allow
one sleep comfortably
during service.. Thought the
house of God is also my
father's house?"
17. WHITE KID BE LIKE: "Shut Up
Dad"!!;* Dad shuts up* DAD
REPLY'S-
*Shutup too*
9JA KID SAYS: "Pale,
Shut up abeg"*wakes
up*....where am i?
DOCTOR:
Oloshi..St. Mercy Hospital"
18. A slap is a manual over ride
mechanism used to
rectify a person acting like a
fool.....no one is above a
manual reset."
19. Some Igbo people with their
names, how can
you be naming identical
twins"Praise and Worship"?"
20. And So, I was watching a
yoruba movie...and this
Guy shot himself in the head
THRICE...Awon
Oloriburuku!!"
21.Someone Blocked His Dad on
facebook, the Dad also Blocked
Him from entering the House
22. One rapper just said "My
blood is so full, call me 'bloody
fool'".....
23.U can't recite a Bible Passage!
but u can mention 68 Hotels &
Clubs in Lagos and Akwa Ibom
without thinking? My Sista,
ur life is blinkin on a low ba3!"
24. Marrying a lady whose
cooking skills can only be
compared to Victor IKPEBA's
English is suicidal."
25. After reading all dis u fail to
comment.

0

WHAT A WORLD A MUST READ

Welcome to The Planet Earth
1) Where SEX is free & LOVE is
costly.
2) Where loosing a PHONE is
more
painful than loosing your
VIRGINITY.
3) Where if don't CHEAT on
partner, you're not SHARP and
SMART.
4) Where BATHROOMS have
become Photo STUDIO.
5) Where getting a Galaxy phone
is
greater than achieving a Bsc.
DEGREE.
6) Where YAHOO boys have
brighter future than GRADUATES..
7) Where churches are turned
into
dating point Where worshiping
God
is difficult
Where is better to lose our
families only to please the devil
9) Where lies are turned into
reality
10) Where nowadays ladies fear
for
pregnancy more than HIV
11) Where pizza delivery is faster
than an emergency response
12) Where people fear of thieves
and robbers than fear God
13) Where people nowadays
WhatsApp in church more than
listening to the word.

0

!!! JOKES!!! JOKES!!!JOKES!!!

A very wealthy man had a
Birthday party and he invited
everyone in his town.
In his Mansion he had A Big pool
Filledwith alligators.
So he announced that anyone
who was able to swim across the
pool and comeout unarmed
would be granted three wishes.
Immediately there was complete
silencenobody wanted to risk his
or her life.
All of a Sudden, there was a big
splash and a man was swimming
like a hell and he Successfully
came out alive.
He was then Given a Round of
Applause
Everyone was anxious to know
what Give the man the courage
todo it
But then the host asked, "What
are your three wishes?"
The man replied, "Give me A
Shotgun and 3 Rounds of Shells
(bullets) and show me the idiot
that pushed me inside the Pool.

0

Naija Funny Jokes

Naija Funny Jokes
A very wealthy man had a
Birthday party and he invited
everyone in his town.
In his Mansion he had A Big pool
Filledwith alligators.
So he announced that anyone
who was able to swim across the
pool and comeout unarmed
would be granted three wishes.
Immediately there was complete
silencenobody wanted to risk his
or her life.
All of a Sudden, there was a big
splash and a man was swimming
like a hell and he Successfully
came out alive.
He was then Given a Round of
Applause
Everyone was anxious to know
what Give the man the courage
todo it
But then the host asked, "What
are your three wishes?"
The man replied, "Give me A
Shotgun and 3 Rounds of Shells
(bullets) and show me the idiot
that pushed me inside the Pool.

0

BEAUTIFUL MESSAGES

BEAUTIFUL MESSAGES…
1) stay away from anger… It
hurts…OnlyYou!
2) If you are right then there is
no needto get angry, and if you
are wrong thenyou don't have
any right to get angry.
3) Patience with family is love,
Patience with others is respect.
Patience with self is confidence
and Patience with
GOD is faith.
4) Never think hard about the
PAST, It brings tears…
Don't think more about the
FUTURE, It brings fears…
Live this moment with a smile,
It brings cheers
5) Every test in our life makes us
bitter or better,
Every problem comes to make us
or break us,
The choice is ours whether we
become victorious or Victims
Like and Share

0

8 Fact's About Bill Gates

8 Fact's About Bill Gates
.
1. Bill Gates earns $250 every
SECOND,that's about $20 million a
DAY and $7.8billion a YEAR!
2. If he drops a thousand dollars,
he won't even bother to pick it
up
because in the 4 seconds it takes
to pick it up, he would have
already
earned it back.
3. U.S's national debt is about$
5.62 trillion. If Bill Gates wants to
pay the debt by himself; he will
finish it in less then 10 years.
4. He can donate $15 to everyone
on earth and still be left with $5
million for his pocket money.
5. Michael Jordan is the highest
paid athlete in the U.S. If he
doesn't drink and eat, and keep
his annual income at $30 million,
he'll have to wait for 277 years to
become as rich as Bill Gates is
today.
6. If Bill Gates were a country, he
will be the 37th richest country
on
earth.
7. If you change all of Bill Gate's
moneyto $1 bills, you can make a
road from earth to moon 14
timesback and forth. But you will
have to make that road non-stop
for 1400years, and use a total of
713 BOEING 747 planes to
transport all the money.
8. Bill Gates will be 42 this year. If
we assume that he still can
live for another 35 years, he has
to spend $6.78 million per day to
finish his money before his
death.
Share These Legendary Facts.

0

FUNNY JOKES LAUGH

GIRLFRIEND : (Low Voice)
Sweety, Last night I had a
dream about you.
:
BOYFRIEND: (excited) Oooh, Tell
me Something Honey...
:
GIRLFRIEND: I dreamt We were
traveling in a bus, Suddenly the
bus lost control and fell in the
river. Everyone swam to save
their life,
but you were still swimming and
searching for someone.
BOYFRIEND: (with luv): Oh,
Definately, i was searching
for You..Right?"
:
GIRLFRIEND: (Frown) NO, You
were shouting, Conductor!
Conductor!!,
Please, Give me My Change
before You Die

0

AKPORS FUNNY INTERVIEW QUESTIONS

Akpos went for an
interview...... .Enjoy
Akpos and johnny went for an
interview
for employment. johnny was the
first
to
enter the interviewing office..
(the
manager asking johnny
questions).
Manager: who was the first
military
head of state in Nigeria ..
Johnny: General Aguyi Ironsi..
Manager: when was the North
and
southern protectorate in Nigeria
Amalgamated .
Johnny: 1914..
Manager: Dat is gud of you..
Question no 3, is it true that the
cure
for
hiv/
aids is discovered ..
Johnny: eehm.. yes but not
scientifically
proven...
Manager: good way of
answering
questions,
pls can you wait for us outside
and we
will attend to you later... (when
johnny
went
outside akpos asked him)..
Akpos: johnny, what are the
questions
and please tell me the
answers??.. (as
johnny was about to tell akpos
the
questions and
answer, the manager shouted
from inside `NEXT'..
Akpos then said to Johnny)..
Akpos: Ok tell me only the
answers..
Johnny: answer to number 1 is:
General
Aguyi Ironsi, number 2 is=1914,
number 3 is=yes but not
scientifically
proven
(mumu Akpos got to d
interview, after
exchanging greetings, d
manager told
him to
sit down)
manager: Please sir, What is ur
name?
Akpos : General Aguyi Ironsi
(manager became confused)
Manager: Please what year
where you
born?
Akpos: 1914
Manager: (angrily, he shouted at
Akpos)
!! are u mad?!!!
Akpos: Yes, but not scientifically
proven

0

FUNNY JOKES ENJOY YOURSELF

Teacher: who is a
pharmacist?
Akpors: raised up his
hand
Teacher: so its only
Akpors that is the
most
intelligent student i
have in this class? So
there is no body else to
answer the
question except
Akpors?
(there was no reply
from the students)
Teacher: ok now Akpos,
use this cane
and flogged them ten
strokes of cane
each....
Akpors: full of happy
gave all the students
ten hot strokes of cane,
which resulted to
some students crying....
Teacher: oyaa my dear
Akpors tell this
dumb students who a
pharmacist is...
Akpors: A Pharmacist is
a farmer who
assist people.
Teacher: fainted

0

FUNNY JOKES ENJOY

A man had 2 sons, Muda and Akpos who sat for an examination.When the result came out, their father called both of them to ask them some questions:

Father: Muda, come here,You did very well in your exams, you got A's in chains.

Muda: Yes daddy, I want to study in America that's why I got A's.

Father: ... and you

Akpos, can you explain why you got F's in chains?

Akpos: Yea Papa its my Dream to study in France.

0

FUNNY BIBLE NIGERIAN QUIS

AKPOS IN A BIBLE QUIZ
Q: who is judas?
Akpos: a farmer and vegetarian.

Q: why?
Akpos: becos judas eats carrot.

Q: where is judas from?

Akpos: Nigeria.
Q: which tribe?

Akpos: igbo.
Q: why?

Akpos: becos he loves
money.
Q: what is Lazarus
surname?

Akpos: Comfort.
Q: why?

Akpos: becos wen Jesus
came to his grave, He shouted "Lazarus Comfort".
Q: who are the brothers
of Lazarus that climb the tree to see Jesus?

Akpos: Aki n Popo.
Q: why?

Akpos: because he is a short man.
Q: complete this bible quote, "many are called but..."

Akpos: many are called but few have the credit to call back.

0

MR AKPORS HOTTEST JOKES

Voice on the phone: Is this
Mr.akpors?
.
Akpors: yes
.
Voice on the phone: ok, My
name is Frank
Edoho from
who wants to be a
millionaire, a
friend of urs is on
the hot seat
and he needs ur
help 2 answer d
next question which
goes for
N20M. D voice u will
hear nxt is dat of
ur friend.
*U hv
30secs, ur time
starts
now*
…………..
Rukewe: Hello
akpors,
"If an open
HAND
receives GIFT, and an
open MOUTH
receives KISS and
an open HEART
receives LOVE, what
will open
LEGS receive?
what do you
think the answer will be?

0

FUNNY JOKES OF MR AKPORS

AKPOS is the Boss in
Office. Lets see
how he is interviewing
people.
AKPOS: There are 500
bricks on a plane. You
drop one
outside. How many are
left?
Applicant: That's easy,
499
AKPOS: What are the
three steps to put
an elephant into a
fridge?
Applicant: Open the
fridge.
Put the elephant in.
Close the fridge.
AKPOS: What are the
four steps to put a
deer into the fridge?
Applicant: Open the
fridge.
Take the elephant out.
Put the deer in.
Close the fridge.
AKPOS: It's lion's
birthday, all the
animals are there
except one, why?
Applicant: Because the
deer is in the
fridge.
AKPOS: How does an old
woman cross
a swamp filled with
crocodiles?
Applicant: She just
crosses it because
the crocodiles are at the
lion's
birthday.
AKPOS: Last question. In
the end the
old lady still died. Why?
Applicant: Er....I guess
she drowned?
AKPOS: No! She was hit
by the brick.
You may leave now.
IS HE A GOOD BOSS?
Yes or No?

0

FUNNY JOKES OF NIGERIA

Teacher Wants to Test
Akpors IQ ....
Teacher: Akpors, what
is a Period?
Akpors: I don't know
the meaning Sir.
But I am very sure it is
very
dangerous.
Teacher: Why Akpors?
Akpors: because when
my sister said
that she didn't see her
period for
5months,
my mum fainted, my
dad got a heart
attack and our driver
ran away….
So I don't think Period is
a good thing.

0

FUNNY JOKES

CHECK OUT THIS FUNNY SHIT My
name is AKEEM I have
4,000,000- capital I saved
up for a business deal, my
girlfriend wants the new
iPhone 5, I bought her the phone
... because I love her and it cost
me 2,000,000/-
now
I'm left with 2,000,000/-...
WHAT AM I?
(a) A Foolish business man
(b) A good boyfriend (c) Idiot
(d) A man with a good heart
(e)otherz specify...
We love your comment ??

0

AKPORS AGAIN VERY FUNNY

WHO IS THE MUMU?

Akpors was sent to deliver a live chicken for xmas celebration in calabar, on his way a careless okada made him to fall off the bike. The chicken immediately ran off. When Akpors saw the chicken running away, he started laughing. And when asked why … he is laughing, he said: "see this mumu chicken, where does she know in calabar when the address is with me.

0

HOTTEST FUNNY AKPORS JOKES

                                              
                                                   HOTTEST FUNNY AKPORS JOKES 

Akpos and ROSE went to commit suicide on top of a 10 storey building so that God can officiate their wedding in heaven. Their plan was to jump off the building at the same time at the count of three. So, After the count, Akpos jumped off but  ROSE  didn't jump. ROSE looked back and said: Love is blind but am not blind. She then walked away As Akpos got to the air, He opened his parachute and said: Though, I'm madly in love, But am not mad to die for "LOVE". Now the Question is, who cheated between
the two?
A) Akpos
B) Ekaite
C) Both
D) None

2

AKPORS FUNNY JOKES LOL WITH THIS ONE

                         Discussion Between Akpos and Ekaite on Phone this morning around 8:03am.
.
Akpos who want Ekaite to come around this evening.. Here's their conversation
.
Akpos- Hello Honey!

Ekaite- Hello!

Akpos- How was your night

Ekaite- Splendid
Akpos- Wow! Thats gud, I will like you to come around this evening

Ekaite- Hey honey... I am preparing for My Friends Traditional Marriage and i  am going back to school from the.

Akpos- Do you remember what i promised you...

Ekaite- What?

Akpos- I promised you the new BlackBerry® Z10™.. And I have bought it for you...

Ekaite- Hey... Akposkey...Thats why i Luv you... Dont worry let me pack my things and come over....hope you are at home

Akpos- Yes! But what about your  friends traditional marriage...

Ekaite- Dont worry (laughs) April fool...
.
.
.
After the "whole show" ekaite requests for the phone...

Akpos- Hahahahaha... THE  BB is  also April fool.....

0

NIGERIAN FUNNY AKPORS JOKES

                                NIGERIAN FUNNY AKPORS JOKES

pastor Akpors was caught by his church members in a bar drinking a bottle of chilled star *beer*.
So, the members asked:

 Member: Haabaa! Pastor Akpors you should be drinking malt, fanta or coke not star, that is a beer. Your  ARE not doing τђε word you preach .                                                                                                                     
 Pastor Akpors: shatttap jooo, where was malt, fanta and coke when STAR led the 3 wise men to Jesus?

0

FUNNY FACEBOOK JOKES LOL ENJOY OH

                                  FUNNY FACEBOOK JOKES LOL ENJOY OH

After blocking Apkors from sending friends request to ekaette..he wrote a letter to facebook..

Dear Facebook, its with great pleasure that i write to you. Firstly allow me to express my sincere thanks to you for allowing me to be on you and indeed for giving me thousands of cyber friends. Further thanks
for allowing me to keep in touch with my loved ones.But i have a few observations to make,

 1. When a man updates their status they'll get 2 likes and 3 comments from their former classmates and 0 friend requests..but if the same status is updated by a lady, they get 170 likes,350 comments and 470 friend requests...why are you tolerating Gender Discrimination?

 2. People who dont even have license in real life have cars on facebook. why do you allow black mailing?

3. People who are kept and not working in real life are CEOs on facebook...why do you allow scams?

4. Everyone writes prayers on facebook but in real life they never have time to kneel down and pray...why dont you remind them that you are not God?

5. Everyone on facebook  likes to see a status pronouncing blessings on them but they never bless others in real life...cant you stop that selfishness?

6. If facebook is about meeting and making new friends,why do you block me when i try doing so? Must i know everyone? Please look into these issues, before i foget, we need dislike button to dislike some nonsense status.

yours concerned addict
Apkors....

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AKPORS JOKES THIS ONE IS HOT

Girl: If we get married, stop smoking.

Akpors: Ok!

Girl: Drinking too.

Akpors: Ok!

Girl: AND going to the night club too.

Akpors:- Yes.

Girl:-You stop watchin soccer matches with your boyz

Akpors: Okay!

Girl:- What else can u leave??

Akpors:- The idea of marrying You


                                                                                SECOND AKPORS JOKES

Teacher: class write a composition about your self

AKPORS wrote:

My name is Akpors Principle,i am 18 yrs old and still
in the  secondary school because  of some reasons best known to me and the school management.

My girlfriend is Ekaite who normally seat at the back seat, although she did not come to school today because of some reasons best known to her, but i will find out after school.

My parents are 4feet tall and dat has affected my height and perfomance. But still am still popular and
am known everywere i go just like MTN I like watching movies like PIRATES, NURSES TOUCH, BASIC INSTINCT,KARMASUTRA and other movies like dis because of some things inside.

But u will not understand I like sleeping on the floor because my fathers armpit smells alot . I usually sleep by 12pm everynite because of facebook, 2go and others...i have become so popular their that people now answer  my name Akpors on facebook and create pages too with my name AKPORS. they even give meseries of aligations and people belive them because i usually do things like
that but not all.
...
 I am looking forward to marry any of these people Alicia keys, Britney spears, Niki minage
but she is under consideration because of her looks. i like my self so much because i dont play with my future.

From
AKPORS PRINCIPLE

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FUNNY JOKES THAT CAN MAKE YOU LAUGH

A girl went to  introduce Akpors to  her father as the man she wants to  get married to.

Father: so you want to marry my daughter ?

Akpors: yes, I love your daughter, and she loves me too.

Father: i see (shaking his head). so what do you  do  for  a living?

Akpors: I just got out of prison, i will search for a job soon.

Father: whaaat! you just got out of prison, and u want to marry my daughter with this  bad record? so
what  did yo u do?

Akpors: I killed a man.

Father: Oh my Jesus! whatt did he do?

Akpors: He denied me of marrying her daughter. Father: "welcome to the  family,
son"

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AKPORS FUNNY JOKES LAUGH WITH THIS ONE

                                                     FUNNY JOKES LAUGH WITH THIS ONE 

Akpos and his friend Ochuko stole a bag of oranges from their neighbor and decided to go to a calm place to share the loot" Akpos suggested they should go to a nearby cemetery.
As they jumping the big gate to enter the cemetery, two oranges fell out of the bag behind the gate" but
they didn't bother to pick them since they had enough in the bag.

Few minutes later A drunkard on his way from a local bar, passes near the cemetery gate and heard a voice: one for you.

"One for me, one for you" He immediately sobers up and run as fast as he could to the local priest. "Father, Father, please come with me ' come and witness God and Satan sharing corpse at the cemetery.
They both ran back to the cemetery gate and the voice continued: " one for you., one for me, one for
you:... Suddenly the voice stopped counting and says: " hey, what about the two at the gate?", you need to see the marathon race...... even the priest almost passed the church gate!!! Shouting we are not dead yet....

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HOT AKPORS JOKES ENJOY

1 Akpors: babe look into my eye and tell me what u see.
 

Chichi: i see range rover sport.


Akpors: *sigh* the key THey in between my leg, come and get it..... 


Chichi: dont worry, i was just joking!
                                                             
                                                         HOT AKPORS JOKES ENJOY


2       A group of student scientists in Nigeria were to hold a competition to show case their scientific inventions. The first boy came forward & said: "I'm Adesola Kunle from Lagos. I invented a biro that can write whatever someone says on its own". He practicalized it and was applauded.

The second person came and said: "I am Osita Chidi from Imo state. I invented a chip that can tell you the amount of money in someone's pockets". He also practicalized it & was also applauded.

Then came another man who said: "Am Akpos from warri, I invented a bomb that can kill anything 1000 metres away and will blow up any human body into pieces, grinding up the hardest bones in the body. Ladies and Gentleme, can you all sit down while I practicalize it before you all.

At this point, the chairman of the competition shouted out.  0N "Mr Akpos,dont worry about testing it here. You havedone an excellent job& you are already the winner of this competition"

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